Rural Life

Mud Season 2012, Two Days In

(A certain angler in Georgia asked yesterday, “How’s the mud crop look this year?”

Ha ha.)

At Town Meeting on Tuesday, our village’s road foreman told me “mud season starts tomorrow,” which was almost amusing, considering the fact that, as I walked to town that morning, it was still just 10 degrees outside.

Tomorrow then is yesterday now, and he was right. Mud season has begun, and it looks like it’s going to be a good one.

One thing I have learned at Town Meeting over the years is that, if one is requesting funds, one should not place a series of question marks where a dollar sign and some numbers should be. I absofreakinglutely guarantee someone will stand up, waving their town report in the air, and shout, “I ain’t votin’ to put no tax dollars to no damn question marks!” It’s all over when that happens.

That might work in the big city, but you’ll get called on it every time at Town Meeting. It also helps if the wording of your request reflects what you describe in your supporting documents. We’re kind of picky that way, wanting to know just what we’re getting into.

We used printed paper ballots for a school district consolidation question, as well as for our Presidential primary votes. Somewhere is a stack of ballots that have been set aside, to be counted later, because they were defaced on Tuesday, vandalized by citizens who just couldn’t follow instructions. I am sure the Secretary of State has dealt with these things before, but his staff must slowly shake their heads after every election as they go through these ballots. I don’t know how many there are, but it’s a pretty sure thing that more than a few of my neighbors saw the section of the ballot marked “DO NOT WRITE IN THIS SPACE” and took the time to write “I WRITE WHERE I PLEASE!”.

Another Town Meeting tip: when you have had your say and the Moderator replies, “That is an opinion, not a motion,” don’t stand there like a deer in the headlights! Look the Moderator square in the eye, say “Damn right it is!” and sit down. That’s what I do, anyway.

One of the final items of the day on Tuesday was our town’s highway budget. Even if our road foreman hadn’t already warned of the impending mud, his proposed budget would have been changed when the villagers got a hold of it. We changed it, alright. We motioned, seconded, and approved a little raise for our road crew because they do a heck of a job with what they have to deal with. Without them, how else would our mail get through?

Categories: Humor, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

A Story of Life and Death, Written in Snow (19 Photos)

(Important Disclaimer: There are places where ice forms many feet thick and travel on frozen lakes is perfectly safe for a good part of the season. In other places, especially during a winter like this one, ice conditions can change from day to day, even hour to hour.

The strengthening sun creates soft spots as melt water collects in the dips between expansion cracks, and a route that was safe in the morning merits a second look after lunch. Faint tracks mark yesterday’s trail, which puddled up and froze over last night, leaving a thin veneer over a foot of nothing but slush and at least a bracing dunk.

If asked, Quill Gordon will tell you no ice is safe, but if you do find yourself crossing a frozen lake, check ice thickness often and be aware of changing conditions.)

¦¦¦¦¦

An overnight skiff of snow on the ice is like a clean slate. Any tracks or other signs of activity I see are recent, laid down only hours before my morning rounds. Otters, mink and squirrels are common, and I saw the tracks of a fisher cat last week but, far and away, the most common tracks I come across are those of coyotes.

It’s the time for pairing off and denning up, asserting dominance and proving worth, and the coyotes have been plenty active. Most are travelling in pairs, but a big, lone male has also been out and about.

Continue reading

Categories: nature, Rural Life, Vermont, Winter | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

Thank You for Littering

A large part of Vermont’s economy depends on visits by people from other places. Her summers are bucolic, her fall foliage is legendary and, in winter, skiers flock to her slopes from miles around (spring is a tortuous slog through mud and black flies, better left unmentioned). After half the state was turned inside-out and strewn about the countryside by Tropical Storm Irene, I beat the drum as best I could and encouraged people to visit and maybe spend a little cash to help get us going again and, after what has been a mild, brown start to winter, I am happy to welcome our first real snow and the economic shot in the arm that comes with it.

There are perhaps four permanent residences on our hill, but there are twice that many second homes and vacation get aways. Some of those houses are rented out, short term, to people who come to ski at one of the nearby resorts. This weekend, every unfamiliar vehicle going up and down our road has had New Jersey plates.

Our road is not much, by most anyone’s standards. Mud in the spring, bumpy, rutted dirt in summer and fall, I think it is actually at its best in winter, when it is covered with a nice, hard layer of packed snow and ice, topped by a sprinkling of sand.

 When this particular group of people from New Jersey is here, there is also a sprinkling of litter.

Come on, man.

They’re kind of wearing out their welcome. Maybe one cup doesn’t make a difference along a road in New Jersey, what with everyone throwing trash out their windows, but around here it sticks out like a sore thumb. So do they.

What follows was originally posted as a three-parter but, inspired by the love I feel today toward the residents of the Garden State, I have dusted it off, changed the formatting, and cleaned it up, presenting it now, as a gift to the Chamber of Commerce. Continue reading

Categories: Humor, Rural Life, Vermont, Winter | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Another Exciting Weekend in Vermont

More excitement, torn from the pages of the Woodstock Early Bird!

In an awareness-raisng example of Vermont’s long political tradition, strong “back and forth” broke out today as A Dozen Turn Out for “Occupy Woodstock”.

And late last week, thousands were left without power because some skwerl was monkeying around: Squirrel Shock Causes Power Outage”.

I like Woodstock and whenever I head there for a visit I make sure to go through Proctorsville and Cavendish so I can stop by Singleton’s General Store on the way, just in case.

Sign at Singleton's General Store

Categories: Humor, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , | 11 Comments

Icing on the Lake

There was a time when I watched ice form with great interest, knowing I was stranded on an island until it was thick enough to cross (On Thin Ice). Now I watch ice form with great interest because it is so interesting to watch.

Calm, clear days give way to clear, cold nights and the stillness starts to settle in. Three weeks of progressively shorter days lie ahead — and the cold will surely deepen — but for now winter’s grip is tentative and weak.

I wouldn’t try walking across it just yet. Continue reading

Categories: nature, Rural Life, Vermont, Winter | Tags: , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Summertime Blues

January 24, 2011

There was a day six months ago that made me wish for a day, six months hence, that would essentially be its opposite. Today is that day.

I will remind myself, six months from now, to not be so melodramatic. I will shut up and eat my pancakes and my pancakes will taste like summer.

Continue reading

Categories: Humor, nature, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , | 6 Comments

If a Tree Falls …

(I like to make a little list each morning, of things I would like to accomplish over the course of the day. Sometimes those lists don’t last very long.)

If a tree falls in the forest — certain parts of the forest, anyway — I don’t know if it makes a sound or not but it’s a pretty good bet I’m going to be cleaning it up. The sky over Fish in a Barrel Pond turned ominous on Thursday afternoon, unleashing heavy rain, hail, and damaging winds.

Nothing at all like the destructive weather experienced in other places recently, this storm none the less left its mark.

Continue reading

Categories: nature, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments

If You Think a Mouse in a Bag of Chips Makes Noise …

A mouse can make a pretty good living in the camps scattered along the shores of Fish in a Barrel pond. Toaster crumbs alone will support a surprising number of rodents but when you add open bags of chips and peanuts, puddles of grease on the stove and spilled cereal on top of the refrigerator, entire colonies can spring up, seemingly overnight.


Some members of the Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society will adopt a mouse in their camp, as a mascot of sorts, leaving treats on the mantle and laughing with delight when their furry little friend descends the stone face of the chimney, grabs a Cheetos™ and scurries back up through a hole in the ceiling. Those folks marvel at how quickly the mouse returns for another load, forgetting that mice pretty much all look the same and that what they are seeing is really a multi-generational assault, with mouse after mouse lined up above the ceiling like paratroopers in a plane. Continue reading

Categories: Humor, nature, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Quill Gordon Meets an Important Man

If you are anything at all like me, when the forecast calls for high temperatures in the 70s, you jump on the tractor and go dig snow.

You know, just to help things along a little bit. We’re going to be fishing again in 18 days.

Continue reading

Categories: Humor, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Weasel in the Chicken Coop

(This post probably deserves a PG rating, at least. It contains photos of dead chickens and a dead weasel. Read no further if that sort of thing bothers you.)

It is a given, living in the sticks and keeping chickens, that a bird will be lost from time to time. I once lost four chickens to a marauding horde of raccoons who tore apart heavy-guage wire mesh panels to get them and I know that a determined predator — especially one with a family to feed — can get into just about any enclosure.

Sometimes we let the chickens out of their pen to forage in the yard and have only been able to shrug when a fox darted out of the woods, grabbed one of our birds, and ran away with it to feed its young. I get that. I can understand it. It happens. At least the fox was killing for a reason.

Dogs, whose owners are sure would never do such a thing, lose their heads around chickens, sheep, cows and deer, killing indiscriminately, for no reason at all, and they have taken a toll on my birds, but this post isn’t about my feelings regarding humans who let their dogs run loose.

Dogs, foxes, bobcats, coyotes, bears, owls and hawks are ever present and we do what we can to keep them away from our birds without breaking the bank. We have a sturdy, six-foot tall fence with the top three feet of wire mesh hung loosely to discourage climbing. Netting and small shelters provide protection against aerial attacks, the doors and windows on the coop are secure and the vents are covered with 1/2-inch mesh. So far, that has proven to be sufficient.

Until this morning. Continue reading

Categories: Rural Life | Tags: , , , , | 11 Comments

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