Posts Tagged With: Humor

If You Think a Mouse in a Bag of Chips Makes Noise …

A mouse can make a pretty good living in the camps scattered along the shores of Fish in a Barrel pond. Toaster crumbs alone will support a surprising number of rodents but when you add open bags of chips and peanuts, puddles of grease on the stove and spilled cereal on top of the refrigerator, entire colonies can spring up, seemingly overnight.


Some members of the Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society will adopt a mouse in their camp, as a mascot of sorts, leaving treats on the mantle and laughing with delight when their furry little friend descends the stone face of the chimney, grabs a Cheetos™ and scurries back up through a hole in the ceiling. Those folks marvel at how quickly the mouse returns for another load, forgetting that mice pretty much all look the same and that what they are seeing is really a multi-generational assault, with mouse after mouse lined up above the ceiling like paratroopers in a plane. Continue reading

Categories: Humor, nature, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Flashback Friday: The One That Got Away

My friend Owl Jones wrote a post the other day about fishing with barbed vs. non-barbed hooks. Actually, it wasn’t much of a vs. since the title was “Why you should fish with barbs”.

Personally, I pinch down the barbs on my flies because 98% of the trout I catch are released and the hook comes out much easier if there is no barb. The less time spent removing the hook, the better. A barbless hook is also much easier to remove from an ear lobe but we won’t get into that again. It was an accident and I said I was sorry, okay? Continue reading

Categories: Flashback Fridays, Humor | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

A Note to the CEO of Nature’s Little Engineers, Inc.

From: Quill Gordon, Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society

To: Bucky Beaver, CEO Nature’s Little Engineers, Inc.

Dear Mr. Beaver,

I thought we had an agreement. Several years ago, your grandfather moved his operations to a previously abandoned dam and pond, raising water levels to the point they threatened to inundate one of the roads I maintain on behalf of the Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society. Evidently pleased with what he had done, he then invited several families of muskrats to move in with him and they began digging tunnels into the road bed.

I understand that these are things beavers and muskrats do but these activities created a potentially dangerous and expensive problem for me. I pleaded with your grandfather and the questionable elements he associated with to cease and desist but they would not listen and I am sure your family has shared with you the story of what happened next. Please accept my belated condolences. Continue reading

Categories: Humor, nature | Tags: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Flashback Whatever-the-heck-day-it-is Because I Just Don’t Know Any More

I took a road trip to Maine last spring and found this old calendar page in an antiques store near Sebago Lake.

It’s from a Currier & Ives lithograph and it shows that kids with sticks have been out-fishing men with rods for ages. Two guys in close quarters, fishing tandem flies, is a recipe for disaster even without the added pressure of being out-fished by some punk using a tree branch, and the bad day these guys are having is being made worse by the mangy cur gobbling down their catch. Hooked in the ear or in the ass, it is hard to not laugh at anglers such as these. Continue reading

Categories: Flashback Fridays, Fly Fishing, Humor | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

Flashback Friday: Opening Day!

Opening Day 1947

Opening Day 2011 dawned a tad bit cool and more than just a little breezy, and the members and guests of the Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society reacted accordingly. Some searched out sheltered spots to cast while others trolled streamers, slapping their way through the chop on the upwind leg of their circuit. By breakfast, most had touched enough trout to have no problem not going back out but a few anglers, suffering from the delusion that nothing matters but numbers, couldn’t be bothered to come in even for coffee.  Continue reading

Categories: +The Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society, Flashback Fridays, Fly Fishing, Humor | Tags: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Opening Day is Three Days Away

Each year, the week before opening day, I take my list of things to be done around Fish in a Barrel Pond and make a little schedule. I carefully find a block of time for each of the 4,000 things to be done — an hour here for this job, two hours there for that, completing each task as quickly and efficiently as possible — and when I am done I feel like the most organized and disciplined man in the world.

I then take that schedule and tear it into tiny pieces before the gods of such things have a chance to laugh at my plans. They will find plenty to laugh at in the days ahead.

Fish in a Barrel Pond April 23, 2011

  Continue reading

Categories: +The Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society, Loons, nature | Tags: , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Flashback Friday: Get On The Phone!

 

 It is hard to believe that there once was a time when we had to be reminded to use our phones. Of course, our telephones weighed 7 1/2 pounds in those days, were anchored to the wall and belonged to the one and only phone company in existence (“We don’t care. We don’t have to.”)

Continue reading

Categories: Flashback Fridays, Humor | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment

First of All, I Wasn’t Really Bragging

I recently wrote about meeting an important man and, in the comments that followed, I was reminded of my encounter with a man last summer that resulted in me yelling at the man so loudly and often that his child started to cry. Other than the trauma suffered by a small child, it’s a funny story — at least the way I tell it — but I have often wondered how the man I yelled at would tell it.

Maybe he would send me an email and I would provide a snip of it to convince you of its authenticity, posting the complete text (and photos) below. 

Continue reading

Categories: Humor | Tags: , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Flashback Friday: Weasels Ripped My Flesh!

Weasels seem to have become a theme this week, so we’re sticking to it. First, a mink — nothing but a weasel with a fancy fur coat but a weasel none the less — managed to kill six of my chickens before succumbing to a case of high-velocity lead poisoning. Then, I managed to irk a very important man to the point he hopped and sputtered, just like a weasel, but he only got a ticket, and then I came across the “This Happened to Me” feature in the July, 1956 issue of Outdoor Life Magazine.

A pheasant hunter in Alberta came across a weasel, which climbed a fence post and leaped for the man’s throat!

Continue reading

Categories: Flashback Fridays | Tags: , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Quill Gordon Meets an Important Man

If you are anything at all like me, when the forecast calls for high temperatures in the 70s, you jump on the tractor and go dig snow.

You know, just to help things along a little bit. We’re going to be fishing again in 18 days.

Continue reading

Categories: Humor, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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