Weasels seem to have become a theme this week, so we’re sticking to it. First, a mink — nothing but a weasel with a fancy fur coat but a weasel none the less — managed to kill six of my chickens before succumbing to a case of high-velocity lead poisoning. Then, I managed to irk a very important man to the point he hopped and sputtered, just like a weasel, but he only got a ticket, and then I came across the “This Happened to Me” feature in the July, 1956 issue of Outdoor Life Magazine.
A pheasant hunter in Alberta came across a weasel, which climbed a fence post and leaped for the man’s throat!
The man put up the best defense he could, under the circumstances.
The man was finally able to disembowel his foe with a load of bird shot (something I, myself, can relate to).
Who knows why a weasel would try to attack a man?
Our brave hunter figures it must have been due to freezing weather taking a toll on young pheasants but I don’t think the weasels were out of sorts because a few young pheasants had perished. In my experience, weasels will find plenty to eat no matter the weather or population of young birds. They will even go so far as to kill now what they might actually need to eat later, and my theory is that this particular weasel attacked this man because … because … because it was a weasel! It couldn’t help itself. Attacking things is just what weasels do.
Later that same year, in September, Man’s Life magazine (one of those real “he-man” magazines so common at the time) featured on its cover another story of a weasel attack, titled “Weasels Ripped My Flesh”
It also carried a story about sinful tourists on Cape Cod (probably nudists) and an article wondering if women could indeed justify their need for extra-marital affairs (my husband is always fighting weasels?) but it was the flesh-ripping weasels that endured. Inspired by the title of this cover feature, Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention released an album with the same name in 1970 and commissioned the art work (inspired by an old shaver ad I’d love to get my hands on) for the cover of the first Frank Zappa album I ever owned, a double album including the seminal “Burnt Weeny Sandwich.”
So now you know Quill Gordon (still) listens to Frank Zappa. In fact, if you ever get brave enough to muddle through my story “Teach a Man to Fish” you will understand the reference when I say it looked as if my friend Eugene had been shaving with a weasel (Quill Gordon also listens to Pink Floyd, as referenced in the title of “Careful With That Axe, Eugene“).
But Quill, you wonder, how does this relate to anything other than defending chickens, grumpy old men with cell phones, and your eclectic tastes in music? Well, it doesn’t, really, but I do have this old ad from the days when deliberate mis-spellings were the way to go: