It may sound cruel to stand by and watch something die, but this is winter we’re talking about and there’s nothing you can do to help it along. The thing is — and this also applies to things other than winter — you don’t want to go poking at it or looking too close too soon. Under the influence of syrup, my last post did just that and winter delivered a reflexive kick to the cranium, knocking spring right out of my mind and causing me to put down the shears, deciding the beard can stay for while — at least until I get tired of it or burn it off feeding the arch at Bobo’s. One or the other; I can’t decide.
Winter and spring duke it out as they do every year and, as ugly as things get, they both end up just looking silly. Meanwhile, the rest of us wallow out through the mid-day slop and bounce home over frozen ruts at night, feeling like the punchline in some kind of big cosmic joke. Continue reading
Categories: +The Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society, Fly Fishing, Humor, Vermont
Tags: April Fools, fish in a barrel pond, fishing, Fly Fishing, Humor, maple syrup, nature, quill gordon, spring, Vermont
It certainly has been an unusual year, and it all started when my friend Eugene (see Careful with that Axe, Eugene) told me of a fish he had seen. Even allowing for his usual inflation percentages I had a hard time believing him when he described its immense size. Certain that between the two of us we could catch any fish that ever swam, I went along with his plan to hook this behemoth, hoping at least to prove the outrageous nature of his exaggeration.
Only one bait would do for a fish such as the one Eugene described and I knew it was best to gather such bait early, before the warmth of the sun made them active and more difficult to subdue. Starting at noon was certainly not to our advantage but it was good sport nonetheless and it wasn’t long before we had a good supply.
Great Moments in Literary History #24: On this date in 1951, Ernest Hemingway caught a small trout and decided to not write about it.
(That, of course, is a marlin)
There’s not much time for this because I must get busy packing for a really big move! Old Quill’s got a new job as a claims processor for a major insurance company based in Newark, New Jersey, and it begins next week.
I will be living in a large 250-unit apartment complex between a major highway and an industrial railyard so no more snow shovels for this kid! Someone else can shovel snow and if anything ever breaks I’m sure the building superintendent will be happy to get right on it, pronto. And if the number of police cars outside the building is any indication, it must be a safe place.
I will have my own cubicle in a climate-controlled environment and I will get to wear a tie every day! They tell me I’ll get used to the humming of the fluorescent lights but I’m just happy I won’t need sunscreen and bug dope any more. My new boss has suggested I get a watch because I won’t be able to tell time by looking at the position of the sun any more. He’s a very helpful guy and I’m looking forward to working with him and the other 75 people in his department.
No more trudging through ice and snow. No more blackflies and mosquitoes. No more glaring sun or sudden cloudbursts to send me scrambling for shelter. No more boats and summer cottages full of guys always asking me to smoke their cigars, drink their booze and eat their food. No more sitting on the porch of the lodge, wondering what to do for the rest of the day and especially no more pesky stars shining in my windows at night to distract me from sleep.
It’s going to be great! I’ll let you all know when I get there.
This brief bit of frivolity has been brought to you by Two Guys and a Truck. For all your construction and deconstruction needs, call Two Guys and a Truck, serving the Upper Skunk Hollow area for more than twenty years. Doing it right because we’re doing it twice. And remember, we do dump runs, too. Satisfaction guaranteed or double your junk back! We may not be good but we’re slow.
Everyone at Two Guys and a Truck would like to wish you a safe and happy April Fool’s Day.