Quill Gordon Got a New Job!

There’s not much time for this because I must get busy packing for a really big move! Old Quill’s got a new job as a claims processor for a major insurance company based in Newark, New Jersey, and it begins next week.

I will be living in a large 250-unit apartment complex between a major highway and an industrial railyard so no more snow shovels for this kid! Someone else can shovel snow and if anything ever breaks I’m sure the building superintendent will be happy to get right on it, pronto. And if the number of police cars outside the building is any indication, it must be a safe place.

I will have my own cubicle in a climate-controlled environment and I will get to wear a tie every day! They tell me I’ll get used to the humming of the fluorescent lights but I’m just happy I won’t need sunscreen and bug dope any more. My new boss has suggested I get a watch because I won’t be able to tell time by looking at the position of the sun any more. He’s a very helpful guy and I’m looking forward to working with him and the other 75 people in his department.

No more trudging through ice and snow. No more blackflies and mosquitoes. No more glaring sun or sudden cloudbursts to send me scrambling for shelter. No more boats and summer cottages full of guys always asking me to smoke their cigars, drink their booze and eat their food. No more sitting on the porch of the lodge, wondering what to do for the rest of the day and especially no more pesky stars shining in my windows at night to distract me from sleep. 

It’s going to be great! I’ll let you all know when I get there. 

This brief bit of frivolity has been brought to you by Two Guys and a Truck. For all your construction and deconstruction needs, call Two Guys and a Truck, serving the Upper Skunk Hollow area for more than twenty years. Doing it right because we’re doing it twice. And remember, we do dump runs, too. Satisfaction guaranteed or double your junk back! We may not be good but we’re slow.

Everyone at Two Guys and a Truck would like to wish you a safe and happy April Fool’s Day.

 

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Categories: Humor, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “Quill Gordon Got a New Job!

  1. Newark! We’ll practically be neighbors!

    (Is this, like, that satire stuff I’ve been hearing so much about?)

  2. Trying to picture you in a tie, and all I can manage is the look on the cats face right before he yarks. 🙂

  3. Finally, your dream job!! CONGRATS!!!

  4. That apartment situation sounded kinda nice, though.

  5. pandemonic

    I knew it was April Fools’.

  6. Thank heaven…who would keep the wood stove running so I can stay warm? Cats aren’t even allowed in offices. That’s how you can tell they’re bad.

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