Shaving is for the Birds

There always seems to be confusion surrounding the transition to spring. Six inches of snow on Wednesday gives way to sunshine and shirt sleeves on Saturday, while yesterday’s hard frost is this morning’s heavy dew, but there is more to the muddling than getting head-faked by the weather. We know the weather will straighten itself out and that the sledding will be poor for a few months but it takes some getting used to, this change of season.

No longer is my bright orange hat my most distinguishing feature and people who point must now find something else about me that merits the attention of others. Even my friend Eugene is hard to spot right off, now that he has shed his filthy, greasy, winter hooded sweatshirt. The winter outfits are gone and our points of reference for each other have changed but not only in the clothing department; blank stares change to smiles of recognition as we point at each other and laugh, exclaiming, “You shaved!”

I would like to make it very clear that the above reaction is reserved for the men in our little village. No one speaks to the women that way. It just wouldn’t be polite.

The annual ritual of shaving off the winter beard is an individual thing, performed in private. It would be more than just a bit creepy to make it a community thing (although I wouldn’t put it past someone to try to make an annual fund-raising event of it) but doing it at home allows one to ease into the new reality. The teasing from family members prepares one for the teasing from one’s peers and the familiar surroundings make it that much easier to convince the dog a stranger has not moved in. No matter where or how the shaving is done, though, I imagine that, cumulatively, a tremendous amount of beard hair is removed each spring and it would make an impressive pile if it were all in one place. Thankfully, it is not.

I don’t have the foggiest notion of what happens to all that beard hair and, quite frankly, I don’t want to know but I can show and tell you what happens to at least some of it.

Contrary to what some might have you believe, Quill Gordon has never had any creature of any kind actually nest in his beard. He has, however, managed to get his beard into a few nests.

I would like everyone to notice that those whiskers are not all completely gray.

Nesting season has begun.

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Looking for Trouble

So there I was, sitting on the dam with a cup of coffee, watching the ice melt and searching for signs of spring when I saw something swimming in the open water along the west shore. It ducked beneath the ice before I could focus on it but a moment later it surfaced less than 20 feet away and I could see it was a young beaver, striking out on its own, looking for a place to set up shop.

I watched as it followed the shoreline, working its way through the ice floes and, as it swam along the east shore of Fish in a Barrel Pond, I had a feeling I knew exactly where it was headed. My suspicions were confirmed the next morning.

Last spring, with some help from the state, I installed a “beaver baffle”  in a dam along one of the roads I maintain. You can read about it HERE. The baffle allows water to flow through the beaver dam and the theory is that the beavers will never figure out that they are losing water through the large pipe twenty feet back from the dam. It worked well and the water level stayed where I wanted it but then the resident beavers got ambitious and began expanding their empire into territory strictly off-limits to beavers. If only they had stayed where they were.

Their removal worked out pretty well for this new, young beaver. He (we’re assuming it’s a he) turned the corner, followed the outlet of the pond and wound up in what must seem to be a beaver paradise. The little guy doesn’t have to do a thing! There’s already a dam in place, an abandoned lodge, and there are several stashes of food his predecessors never got back to. What luck!

The thing about beavers, though, is that they can’t just sit there and enjoy what they have. They must work, work, work, and this particular beaver is no exception. It didn’t take him long to start “improving” what he’d found. Scooping, digging and pushing, he has undertaken an expansion of the dam which, with the baffle in place, would normally not be a problem. 

Normally.

I won’t say he’s any smarter than any other beaver. Maybe another beaver would do the same thing, blindly doing what comes naturally. Maybe another beaver would lift a twelve inch pipe (full of water, no less!) up out of the muck and pack debris underneath. Maybe another beaver would shove a four foot wide cage made of stock fence from its place, even moving cinder blocks with it. Maybe another beaver would try to add a six foot culvert pipe just downstream to his holdings. I just don’t know what another beaver would do but this one is starting to make me mad. 

Categories: nature, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Eugene, Purly and Chef Gordon Ramsay

It is not uncommon in these parts to run into a celebrity from time to time. Most stay below the radar, preferring to not call attention to themselves, but others cause quite a ruckus. It should come as no surprise that one such recent folderol should involve my good friend Eugene.

Eugene has been wintering with his pal Purly, at Purly’s place above the swamp on the far side of Peavy Flat off Lower Skunk Hollow Road. It’s a cozy arrangement and it works well for them, which is good because otherwise he would be staying here with me. He stopped by the other day — to “borrow” something — and he filled me in on the goings-on over the hill. When he told me about the “cocky little British guy” he and Purly had run off he had no idea who he was talking about but, considering the details, it was clear to me he could only be describing Gordon Ramsay, famous chef, restauranteur and television star. Continue reading

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A Post Card from Quill

It’s that awkward, in-between time when the calendar says “spring” but the weather ain’t so sure. The transition is easier some years than others (see “Driven to Distraction“) but no matter how politely winter bows out, she’s bound to throw in some kind of cheap parting shot that makes you glad the long-johns are still handy. The temperature at 6:00 a.m. this morning was 4F here at Fish in a Barrel Pond.

So, how has old Quill been whiling away the time as he waits for spring? Continue reading

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Another Season

Four seasons aren’t enough to fully define a year in Vermont. We divide the four main season into shorter “sub-seasons”, not only to recognize  subtleties and nuances that deserve attention but also, I think, to keep any one of them from seeming to be an endless slog.

Some of these “sub-seasons” are simply the in-between stages as one season gives way to another. After the leaves are off the trees and the tourists have gone home, the hillsides are bare and some guys call the period before the first snow “stick season”. “Black fly season” is endured as spring transitions to summer, following close on the heels of “mud season” which marks the change from winter to spring.

It is now mud season. Continue reading

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The Snow Flea and the Furcula

Without a doubt, the most common search term to bring people to this blog is “poop”. It could be due to the highly ranked photo of bear poop found in my post “Running Man” or perhaps it relates to the action in my post “Careful with that Axe, Eugene“. I don’t know.

In second place, behind the aforementioned “poop”, would be any number of variations having to do with Phineas Gage, the man who had an iron rod blown through his head over on the other side of Cavendish. His story is fascinating and instructive (before tamping blasting powder, always, always, always make sure to have a good layer of sand between the powder and your tamping iron) but it has been told countless times by others.

The third most common search term to appear on my statistics page is “Snow Fleas” and refers to a post from a few seasons ago. Quite often these searches include the words “how to kill”. Well, I could write about poop all day and someday probably will. I might even get around to posting a little something about Phineas Gage and the time he spent working for Phineas Barnum but right now I need to know why people want to kill Snow Fleas.

Snow Fleas (Achorutes nivicolus) are not Fleas at all. They belong to the insect family Poduridae and are generally found on the forest floor,sometimes  appearing in great numbers on top of the snow on warm winter days. On the coldest of days they go dormant, thanks to a chemical in their blood that acts as an antifreeze, but as temperatures climb they become more active and begin feeding. Voracious by nature, they swarm, searching for food, hungrily consuming everything they find as long as it is a small, partially decomposed bit of tree bark or leaf. Big stuff gets broken down into small stuff, it’s the way of the world, and snow fleas are an important part of that process, making and enriching soil one tiny meal at a time.

When the snow in the woods looks like it’s been sprinkled with pepper, and those pepper flakes move, chances are good you’ve come across a cluster of Snow Fleas, just doing their jobs, turning tiny bits of organic matter into smaller bits of organic matter. There is no need to search for ways to kill them.

 

The “Flea” in their name is unfortunate. They and their close relatives are also known as Springtails, which is much more descriptive, because of an appendage, resembling a tail, that, well, acts like a spring. Called a furcula, this appendage folds up, under the abdomen, and locks into place much like the bar on a mouse trap. The Springtail holds its furcula under pressure by drawing water into its abdomen in a process known as “sucking water up its butt” and when that pressure is released the furcula springs down, propelling the average Springtail up to 100 times the length of its body. If I were a Snow Flea I could change Olympic history forever but I am not and I guarantee you that, if six-foot tall Snow Fleas began flinging themselves hundreds of yards, crashing through the woods and you needed to kill them, I’d be at the top of your search results.

Categories: nature, Vermont | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

The Fish on the Wall

One hot August day, back before we knew computers could handle years beginning with “2”, Dr. Marcus Feely hooked the largest trout to ever come out of Fish in a Barrel Pond. The Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society had never hung a fish on its walls, choosing not to emphasize trophies, but Dr. Feely insisted. He even paid for the mounting himself and bought the impressive brass plaque that hangs beneath it, engraved with his name, the date and the names of four men listed as witnesses. Sooner or later, whether you want him to or not, Doc Feely will tell you all about that fish. Continue reading

Categories: +The Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society, Fly Fishing, Humor | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

After The Thaw

The best ice forms when it’s cold. Thus spake Quill Gordon, Chronicler of the Obvious, but we’re not just talking cold here. We’re talking real cold, where boogers freeze and snow squeaks under foot. The kind of cold where an unprotected finger feels like it’s been sliced by a razor and ears like they’ve been set afire. Cold made all the more shocking by following on the heels of a warm January thaw. 

On Monday it was 50 degrees and pouring rain. Today it’s impossible to tell how cold it is — because the thermometer disappeared last night in the wind — and dry arctic air continues to assert its dominance by slamming into everything at 40 miles per hour. Except for wool trousers, which it sails right on through. Continue reading

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Like Dew, Only Frozen

On mild days, moisture is drawn from the snow pack into the air. Relatively speaking, warm air holds more moisture than cool so as temperatures drop at night some of that moisture is released as condensation. And if the object upon which that moisture condenses has been chilled to below freezing, frost will form on its surface.

Freezing fog (Beware the Pogonip!) can create frost and has its own eerie beauty but the best examples of frost are seen when the sky is clear and radiational cooling seems to suck the heat out of everything, hurling it out past the stars and into deep space. Delicate filigrees disappear quickly when the warmth of the sun takes over and by the time most people get up the show is over. Continue reading

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Dr. Marcus Feely, Member Since 1993

Dr. Marcus Feely (not his real name) is a proctologist, not because of anything like a proud family tradition, but because I think it makes him more amusing. His patients appreciate his slender hands and his practice is well established. The success of “Doc Feely’s Love Rub,” his own line of personal lubrication products, has allowed him to become a man of leisure. His office is open five hours a day, three days a week, 40 weeks a year.

Dr. Feely, along with thousands of other men, took up fly fishing after seeing the movie, “A River Runs Through It” and has since amassed an impressive arsenal of extremely valuable rods, reels, gadgets, do-dads and geegaws. He has traveled the world, fishing for trophies in dozens of countries and he stays in only the finest lodges, hiring only the best, highest-priced guides. I know because he shows me the photos and tells me the stories every chance he gets. Continue reading

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