Posts Tagged With: nature

Where the Hell is Quill Gordon?

A Somewhat Disjointed and Not Quite Complete Accounting of My Whereabouts for the Past Few Weeks

The transition from snowbound no-man’s land to lively, functioning, family fishing camp took place quickly this year at Fish in a Barrel Pond. It did not happen in the blink of an eye, or even overnight, but it happened fast, the rapid progress seeming even more so because of the tremendous amounts of ice and snow remaining at the beginning of the month. Small patches of ice remain, tucked up against the north sides of buildings, and snow can still be found in some shady, deep-wood recesses, but no other vestiges of winter are seen. Continue reading

Categories: +The Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society, Fly Fishing, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , | 12 Comments

A Fox, Some Snow Fleas and a Close Shave

It is snowing again here at Fish in a Barrel Pond. No, wait a second, it has turned to rain. Nope, now it is sleeting. We are caught in the middle of a battle between seasons and the incumbent seems to be holding its ground against the usurper. But winter can not stay forever and signs of its demise are beginning to appear. Continue reading

Categories: Humor, nature, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Quill Gordon Got a New Job!

There’s not much time for this because I must get busy packing for a really big move! Old Quill’s got a new job as a claims processor for a major insurance company based in Newark, New Jersey, and it begins next week.

I will be living in a large 250-unit apartment complex between a major highway and an industrial railyard so no more snow shovels for this kid! Someone else can shovel snow and if anything ever breaks I’m sure the building superintendent will be happy to get right on it, pronto. And if the number of police cars outside the building is any indication, it must be a safe place.

I will have my own cubicle in a climate-controlled environment and I will get to wear a tie every day! They tell me I’ll get used to the humming of the fluorescent lights but I’m just happy I won’t need sunscreen and bug dope any more. My new boss has suggested I get a watch because I won’t be able to tell time by looking at the position of the sun any more. He’s a very helpful guy and I’m looking forward to working with him and the other 75 people in his department.

No more trudging through ice and snow. No more blackflies and mosquitoes. No more glaring sun or sudden cloudbursts to send me scrambling for shelter. No more boats and summer cottages full of guys always asking me to smoke their cigars, drink their booze and eat their food. No more sitting on the porch of the lodge, wondering what to do for the rest of the day and especially no more pesky stars shining in my windows at night to distract me from sleep. 

It’s going to be great! I’ll let you all know when I get there. 

This brief bit of frivolity has been brought to you by Two Guys and a Truck. For all your construction and deconstruction needs, call Two Guys and a Truck, serving the Upper Skunk Hollow area for more than twenty years. Doing it right because we’re doing it twice. And remember, we do dump runs, too. Satisfaction guaranteed or double your junk back! We may not be good but we’re slow.

Everyone at Two Guys and a Truck would like to wish you a safe and happy April Fool’s Day.

 

Categories: Humor, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , | 6 Comments

March 15, 2008 – It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

One of winter’s last gasps.

 

 

 

 It’s beautiful …

 

as long as you don’t have to go anywhere.

Categories: nature, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Driven to Distraction

Last Sunday marked the end of the meteorological winter, the coldest (on average) 91 days of the year. Winter’s back may be broken but it’s still kicking up a fuss, dropping more freezing rain and another 10 inches of snow on the south flank of Nonesuch Mountain but, unlike a mad dog or a downed ewe that can be helped no longer, I can’t shoot it in the head and just get it over with. Continue reading

Categories: Humor, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Solar Powered Roof Rake

Thoroughly exhausted from a day of raking roofs, I slogged through deep, heavy snow for 45 minutes to reach the last of the roofs to rake. After a short rest to catch my breath and have a smoke, I put the pieces of my roof rake together and got to work, only to find that the blade skittered and bounced harmlessly off the thick layer of ice that had developed on top of the thick layer of snow. I lunged and swung and pulled and yanked until I was left with little more than a strip of bent, twisted aluminum on the end of a stick, and after that I sat down and cursed. Continue reading

Categories: Humor, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Quill Gordon and the Roof Rake

With better than 30 inches of new snow in the past week, New Englanders have been reaching for a tool that has remained basically unchanged since its invention: the roof rake. New materials have been introduced, making them lighter and easier to wield, but most changes have been simply variations on a theme. A long pole with a blade on one end is thrust up onto a roof and pulled back toward the thruster, bringing snow and ice crashing to the ground where it can melt harmlessly rather than collapsing whatever building it was sitting on.

The roofs here at Fish in a Barrel Pond are quite lovely and we would like to keep them.

As you can see, they have collected quite a bit of snow this week.

Some roofs are relatively flat and collect quite a bit of snow.

 

Others are fairly steep and able to shed their load. Eventually. I hope.

 

 The roof rake. It sure beats the heck out of climbing up there with a shovel.

Categories: Humor, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Quill Gordon vs. The Shack Nasties

Winter’s first snows are enthusiastically embraced, as fresh-faced whiteness hides the chilly decay of autumn and brightens the dark nights of December, radiating seasonal joy and warmth. But, like someone else’s irritating child that doesn’t know when to stop, it is eventually just tolerated with a grudging acceptance. The irritation persists and is ignored or repressed but, as with most things left to fester, it will eventually come out and it probably won’t be pretty.

The murder rate in colder, darker, northern states spikes a bit in February and there are those who think the early March timing of Town Meeting Day is no coincidence. Those rooms full of grumpy people certainly do provide entertainment when it is sorely needed but they may also serve as a communal valve for letting off steam. If nothing else, Town Meeting is at least something to do, and if the maple sap has started running we’ll have something new to talk about. 

Folks talk about going “stir crazy” or having the “mopes” and they talk about Seasonal Affect Disorder and the benefits of full-spectrum lighting. They change their diets and their habits, hoping to feel better and, at the end of their 8-12 week course of treatment, the snow is melting and the red-winged blackbirds are back in the pussy-willows! Funny how that works with so many things – just when you’re sure you can stand no more, you’re done.

Like the first apple harvest I worked, which felt like it would never end even though I knew it must. I was about to shout, “No more apples! Ever!” and really mean it this time, but when I looked around I saw that, after seven hard weeks, there were no more apples.

Or the morning on Savage Island, when we were up to our eyeballs in little lambs and I just wanted it to stop, that I resolved to go to the barn and scream at the last few ewes who hadn’t yet given birth, “HAVE YOUR BABIES! NOW!” I didn’t scream at the sheep but they did all eventually have their lambs and I got to take a nap.

I stock up, bracing for the isolation to come, hoarding combustibles, comestibles and fiery potations of rum and other hard liquors (for medicinal purposes, you know), dashing out for more when time and weather permit but it gets old after a while, waiting for winter to end. This season’s cribbage tournament stands tied at 435 games apiece, providing a pleasantly amusing diversion, but the recent skirmish with the local beaver population, while certainly a diversion, was neither amusing nor pleasant.

“Why, Quill? Why?” they cry. “Why do you put yourself through it? Why do you spend your winters in cold places? You must get Cabin Fever!”

I’ve always preferred the term “Shack Nasties” as it seems so much more descriptive to me but I am outside for at least a part of every day so I don’t think it quite fits. I feel a sort of longing, an unfulfilled desire of sorts, but not for something unattainable. This desire will be fulfilled. All the signs are there. Twigs on the dogwoods below the house are turning red while the birches show purple, the big willow has taken on a golden cast and the buds on the crab apple out back have begun to swell. The sun makes it up over the top of the barn now and the African Violets on the window sill have burst into color. Winter is almost over and it feels good to know I’ve almost made it, even if that sounds a bit like saying that I hit my thumb with a hammer because it would feel so good when it stopped hurting.

Bring on the mud and the blackflies.

Categories: Humor, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Get a real job

The past two weeks have been busy ones, up here at Fish in a Barrel Pond. It is nice to have little lull in which to dust off the old keyboard for this dispatch.

I once told someone that I was not a “nine to fiver”. That statement, combined with my refusal to cut my hair, was taken to mean that I was a hippie. That person’s assumption has softened a bit but I am still considered to be counter-culture and therefore dangerous. Even now, toward the end of my first half century of life, I get asked when I am going to cut my hair and get a real job.

I was on the phone with an old friend the other day and he said something to the effect of how nice it must be to spend the winter way back in here with not a care in the world and nothing to do. Then he told me how much he would like to have a job like mine, if only he didn’t already have a real job he liked so much.

I told him about how hard winter rains have been backing up behind a plugged culvert and flooding the road to one of the cottages here at Fish in a Barrel Pond and how when I get on the phone to call the guy who clears the culverts the line is busy because that’s what happens when you try to call yourself. Isn’t clearing culverts a real job?

When it is discovered that the culvert is plugged because a pair of beavers stuffed it full of mud and sticks, it is time to call the trapper. His number is the same as the guy who clears the culverts so it appears he has at least two jobs, whether or not anyone thinks they are real.

I took my friend, Eugene, with me to check my trap sets yesterday. As I worked my way onto the ice shelf behind the culvert he made himself comfortable, sitting on my pack at the edge of the trail while I chipped away with my axe. It was nice and quiet in the woods, except for my banging on the ice and Eugene’s constant questions. I was standing with one hand on a hip, leaning with the other on the axe handle, trying to catch my breath, when he asked a doozy. “Aren’t you bored?” he asked.

Before I could answer, the ice shelf beneath me gave way and I fell back into knee-deep, nearly freezing water.

It was a quiet walk home.

When the dooryard needs to be cleared of a portion of the 100+ inches of snow we’ve had so far this season, I am the one on the tractor digging us out.

When I wake up at 2:00 a.m. under the mistaken impression that someone has put some billiard balls and a bobcat in the clothes dryer, I am the one sitting on a bucket in a dark corner of the old cellar reattaching the pulley and belt to the furnace’s blower motor.

Leaky roofs, broken windows, flooded roads, rock-battered boats and motors, animal/human conflicts, human/human conflicts, poachers, trespassers and other miscreants, tractors, mowers, chainsaws, computers and anything else that happens here, I am on it. Time of day and day of week don’t matter. This is not a nine to five job.

I could probably go and get me one of those real jobs but what would I do all day?

Categories: Humor, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , | 6 Comments

With My Snowshoes

With my snowshoes, the impossible becomes difficult. Snow that would have been waist-deep only comes up to my knees and high stepping through the powder means lifting extra weight as the decks collect snow. But my legs are long and strong, allowing me to stride purposefully (remember – I don’t run) in pursuit of poachers, trespassers and other miscreants.

With my old school wood and rawhide snowshoes I can blaze a trail through fresh, deep snow with nary a sound other than the occasional creak of the leather bindings, which sounds like nothing more than a tree in the breeze. These are my woods and I can head off most any incursion, taking great delight in startling intruders into exclaiming, “What the …?” or “Where’d you come from?” or even, “How come we didn’t see you with that screaming bright orange hat?” Continue reading

Categories: Humor, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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