Fishing Hurts

Certain aspects of fly fishing confound even those familiar with the sport and no one, especially the uninitiated, needs me mucking things up trying to explain them. A quick search of the internet will reveal plenty of sources to confuse you better than I ever could but there is one important concept that is pivotal to this tale – the waving of a rod, causing a length of line to go forward and back.

The forward part of the cast is generally not very dangerous except, indirectly, to the occasional fish. The backward portion, however, tends to be somewhat more problematic. Concentrating on what is in front of him, a fisherman will sometimes lose track of where his line and the sharp, pointy hook attached to it are going, often with unintended consequences.

Ron Hogan is such a fisherman and his sloppy back cast is chronic. Continue reading

Categories: +The Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society, Fly Fishing, Humor | Tags: , , , | 17 Comments

Ice, Ice, Baby

  
When it comes to brutal winter weather, one can embrace it, endure it or leave. Those who choose to embrace and endure call themselves things like the “Frozen Chosen” and remind each other that at least the mosquitoes and summer people are gone. The residents of Frostbite Falls will talk back to the television, saying, “That’s nothing!” when they see a national news story about a major city suffering through a cold snap. The good folks of Hypothermia Junction never see themselves on the national news when it’s cold there, because it’s always cold this time of year. Continue reading

Categories: Humor, nature, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , | 11 Comments

A Very Eugene Holiday Tale

(Some readers may not be familiar with my friend, Eugene. They can read about a hunting trip we once took together in Careful With That Ax, Eugene and see his artistic abilities in A Craft Project With My Friend, Eugene.)

If Happy Hour at the Holiday Inn, with a beefed-up buffet and lots of festive decorations, counts as a company Christmas party and tequila counts as holiday cheer, Eugene left the company Christmas party filled with holiday cheer. As company parties go, it wasn’t bad. At least, that is, until they fired up the karaoke machine. Continue reading

Categories: Humor, Stories About My Good Friend, Eugene | Tags: , , , , | 11 Comments

I’m Thankful For …

… being able to live and work in such a lovely place.

morning-pond

… for Ospreys.

osprey

… for Lupine, Daylilies and Iris.

lupines-and-lillies

… for Brook Trout.

brookie

… for Fall, even though it means winter is coming,

100_4918

and even for Winter because I know it’s going to end.

april-3-looking-north-from-dam

… for my seven loyal readers and the fact that I have anything at all to be thankful for. That’s plenty.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Categories: +Uncategorized | Tags: | 8 Comments

The Buddy System

There are a lot of links pointing to this post but stripping them out just seems too daunting a task and if I leave them in you’ll get one of those impersonal Error 404 Not Found notices, but the fact of the matter is that “The Buddy System” is no longer here. It has been taken down, given a good thrashing, and now exists in e-reader format, available for downloading to both Kindle and Nook devices.

Quill Gordon’s Story Time

Tales of the Outdoors for Anglers and Others

One Story, One Dollar

“The Buddy System”

It has been said that all fishermen are liars but when Jim Davis dies during a visit to Fish in a Barrel Pond his fishing buddies are forced to concoct a real whopper. Find out if they will be able to keep their own secret in this humorous short story of life at a fishing camp by Quill Gordon.

Click here for “The Buddy System” for Kindle (Amazon)

Click here for “The Buddy System” for Nook (Barnes & Noble)

Buddy System

Categories: +The Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society, Fly Fishing | Tags: , , , , | 7 Comments

Without Fear or Favor of Any Person

i-voted

When you register to vote in Vermont you must take the Voter’s Oath (also known as the Free Man’s Oath) where you “solemnly swear or affirm that whenever you give your vote or suffrage … you will do so as in your conscience you shall judge will most conduce to the best good of the same, as established by the Constitution, without fear or favor of any person.”

Good stuff. Use your vote for good and don’t let anyone influence you otherwise.

I have been reading about long lines to vote in many places. I think this is a good thing, although when I went to vote this morning I had to wait a few minutes because all three of the booths were in use. It’s a busy day in our little village clerk’s office.

Our Village's Polling Place

Our Village’s Polling Place

Rock on, people.

Categories: Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , | 5 Comments

Time for a Nap

The season is over, here at Fish in a Barrel Pond. At times I thought it would never end and, in some ways, I didn’t want it to end but cold weather is coming and it is time to change gears. Cottages full of people and boats dotting the pond are giving way to chainsaws and skidders in the woods and this part of Vermont belongs once again to the locals. A couple of guys who live nearby might come over on exceptionally nice days, to fish from the dock but, with the cottages shut down and all the boats pulled from the water, we are effectively closed for business.

40 degree air, 40 degree water

 

The end of the season means Performance Review time for old Quill and, while I had no reasons (that I could think of) to worry, I’m never sure just what to expect from the members of the Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society. They can be a fickle bunch and I have to watch myself to be sure I am seen as neutral and not aligned with some faction or another.

Currently, the membership seems to be divided into three groups – Group 1 refers to Group 2 as “certain members”, Group 2 refers to Group 1 as “those people” and Group 3 thinks both Groups 1 & 2 are insane and should spend a lot more time on the water. It is a fine line I walk as I convince them that I love them all and want them all to be happy and that things would go a lot smoother around here if they would leave me the heck out of their petty bickering, festering feuds and personal agendas. Someone needs to be here to open the gates next April and I would prefer it to be me. 

I like my job and I believe that most of the members of the Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society like me. Or, if they don’t like me, they at least feel I am competent and qualified for the job but with some people there’s just no telling. At least not until the results of the biennial Survey of the Membership come out.

Covering a wide range of issues, this survey is a way for members to spout off and express their opinions on everything from dues, the board of directors and the quality of the fishing to forestry management plans, cottage remodeling and the way I do my job. Seventy nine of the 100 members responded to this year’s survey and the bottom line is that 75 of them were “satisfied” or “very satisfied” with the current state of affairs. Four of them were “very dissatisfied” and, as you might expect, it is not difficult to figure out who those four are.

A few excerpts from the Comments section of the survey, as they pertain to me:

Quill Gordon’s keen observations of weather, water conditions and insect activity are invaluable to anyone wanting to catch fish from our pond. When I come up for a weekend I don’t have the time to try 50 flies in 100 places to get a fish but I know that if Quill tells me to skate an elk-hair caddis off the point above Green Damselfly Cove that that’s what I should do. He puts me onto fish every time! It was a great season.” -R.B., Boston

Quill Gordon thinks he’s so smart, suggesting what flies I should use and where. I’ve been fishing the same way for 30 years and I have no intention of changing! This was the worst year of fishing I can remember.”    -C.G., Pittsburgh

Quill Gordon is fair and honest in all his dealings with the membership of our little club. He is forthright and up front and you always know just where he stands. No funny business or messing around, just the truth and an honest effort to understand.” -R.R., Houston 

Quill Gordon is a dick.” -C.G., Pittsburgh

All things considered, I think it was a good season and have agreed, in principle, to another two-year stint as caretaker for the Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society here at Fish in a Barrel Pond. The board of directors and I will meet soon to finish the details in my contract and, as long as C.G. from Pittsburgh stays off the board, I think I’m okay.

Time for a nap.

October, 2008

Categories: +Uncategorized | 6 Comments

I Like Fall

 

 

 

 

Categories: nature, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , | 8 Comments

A Postcard from Quill

Good morning!

 

We are just over half-way through the season, here at Fish in a Barrel Pond. Just two and a half more months of being on-call 24/7! It’s not like I have to stay awake, waiting for something to happen, but I have to be around just in case. You never know when there will be an emergency like someone running out of toilet paper or one of the kitchens getting ransacked by a marauding band of raccoons. Or someone having a heart attack. Yeah, two someones, each with a very different outcome. You’ll hear all about it after the season ends.

My point is that my work days are very long and entire days off are non-existent. I get pieces and parts of days to myself every once in a while – and nothing personal against you, my seven loyal readers – but there are places I’d rather be than in front of a computer. Like on the pond for example.

 

 

Those would be otters.

 

That would be a loon.

 

And that would be a toad that did not quite make it across the road. I don’t know why I threw that picture in here.

Anyhoo, Quill Gordon is still alive and well and he hopes you are, too.

Categories: Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , | 7 Comments

First Trout of the Season

It is a bit of a gamble, declaring the last Saturday in April to be Opening Day at Fish in a Barrel Pond. Not only is it possible that the pond could still be covered with ice, there is also the chance that the cottages will not be accessible or have no running water due to frozen water lines. It is a mad scramble to get things up and running once the thaw sets in.

Some members of the Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society clear their calendars months in advance, flat-out lying if necessary, to be here for the first day of fishing and the celebration that comes with it. They all know that Mother Nature has the final say but the possibility of postponement is not an option for me. I must plug away as if nothing could possibly go wrong even if it means I am still patching pipes as the last of the lake ice disappears with mere hours to spare. Continue reading

Categories: Fly Fishing, Humor, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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