Butt Wind

Sometimes it’s not what you say …

… it’s how you say it.

The sign at Singleton’s Store in Proctorsville means the same thing no matter how you say it.

Categories: Humor | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Shortest, Darkest Day of the Year

It is the shortest, darkest day of the year and the sun barely peeked over the barn. Not only is this week a time for friends, family and worship, it also marks the anniversary of the day my friend Eugene very nearly became a casualty in the War on Christmas, all because he wished good will, peace and happiness to one of his fellow men. You can read about it here, in A Very Eugene Holiday Tale (now with less cussing!).

Best wishes to all, now and in the coming New Year, from everyone at Fish in a Barrel Pond. Bring on the longer days!

Categories: Winter | Tags: , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Temporary Embellishments

There is a stillness to a calm winter day that no other season can match. The profound, stunning silence can make you believe you’ve gone deaf — at least until a tree pops from the cold, shattering the quiet — and the frigid, crystalline air can seriously create the impression your nose has caught fire. Days like this are part of the price to be paid to live in a place like this, but they are also part of the reward.

I joke in the fall about seeing the pretty leaves twice; once in their autumnal glory on the hillsides and again, a few days after they drop, as they clog the grates across the spillway. I also joke about waiting for the last oak to drop its leaves so I can be done with clearing those grates, but I never know just when that will be so I try to keep my sense of humor when those leaves are still coming out from under the ice.

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Categories: nature, Vermont, Winter | Tags: , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

First Winter Photos (Before Winter Even Begins)

I raised an eyebrow at the temperature when I stepped outside yesterday and that eyebrow stayed up for most of the morning and I walked around, looking kind of surprised, like one of those Botox ladies. I’m not sure how surprised I actually was, knowing for a long time that this day was coming, the day I trade flannel-lined dungarees for long-johns and wool trousers and my footwear consists solely of Sorels for outdoors and house slippers for in.

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Categories: nature, Rural Life, Vermont, Winter | Tags: , , , , , , | 2 Comments

“The Kind of Surprise I Like” or, “A Package for Quill”

My recent post “On Thin Ice” was my submission to a writing contest sponsored by the good folks at Outdoor Blogger Network and Sportsman Channel. The theme of the contest was “Winter Travel” and the winner was Mark Dillow with his fine entry “Frozen in Time”. Congratulations, Mark!

My friend Owl Jones received special attention for his entry “Winter Scouting on Murphy’s Mountain”. I still laugh just thinking about it. To quote the judges regarding Owl’s literary contribution, “… this story is crazy!” Nicely done, Owl. You may have a cookie now.

My entry was noticed for its creativity and the contrast between the fantasy image of living on an island compared to the stark reality thereof. In recognition, I was promised a “special surprise” and it arrived, via UPS, yesterday afternoon. 

One thing I learned while surviving the events that inspired “On Thin Ice” — other than the fact that, when people walk by me holding one of those tropical drinks with the little umbrellas, it’s a struggle to not slap it out of their hand — was to not take living on or at least near a real road for granted, even if that road is presently a long series of frozen, twisted ruts.

It’s taking a toll, all this violent lurching and banging around. Tie rods, ball joints and headlights get broken and knocked askew and I’m considering a helmet and mouthpiece for myself if we don’t get some good snow to pack down and even things out. All four of my cheap hub caps are badly cracked (only three actually remain on the vehicle) and even the UPS guy is bombing around with a broken leaf spring. I could hear him a mile away as he clattered his way up the hill. The ruckus he raised when he pulled into the dooryard scattered cats and shook the knick-knack shelf but that’s okay because as I stood on the porch waving good-bye I remembered a time when I had to wait seven weeks and cross a mile and a half of ice just to get to the Post Office.

If there’s one thing I like more than getting packages it is opening them and this one was full of surprises. To start with, there was a very nice note from Michelle Scheuermann, Director of Communications for Sportsman Channel. She wrote the note by hand and even used her very best, fancy stationery!

Next was a most thoughtful gift. Many of my Vermont friends would call it a strip of “fender patch” or “muffler fix”. I once saw an entire car seemingly held together with this stuff (please see “Fishing Hurts”) and I think it might be the ticket for joining two pieces of broken hub cap but, with history as my guide, I’d hate for my last glimpse of it to be in the rear-view mirror as it sailed off the downhill side of Rte. 155. No, I think the best place for it is here, on the wall, where I can gaze upon it in at leisure and in comfort.

But wait, there’s more! A T-shirt promoting Sportsman Channel and Sportsmen Against Hunger. “HUNT FISH FEED” it reads, encouraging utilization of our natural food resources. I think it’s a great idea and I’m all for it. The shirt is size L, which was me an X or two ago, so it looks like Mrs. Gordon is getting a new nightie for Christmas! Of course, I could give it to my friend, Eugene, who often finds a change of clothes to be in order (please see “Careful With That Axe, Eugene”).

Beneath the nice note, the fender patch and Mrs. Gordon’s new nightie was a hat, and not just any hat, either. This hat has the Sportsman Channel logo embroidered  on the front, is adjustable and extra spiffy. When I wear it to town the guys will ask “Is that a new hat, Quill?” and I will answer “Yes. Yes it is” and they will say ” ‘Bout darn time!” Not only that, the hat is black and will absorb solar radiation, keeping my brain warm when I go around the corner of the barn to sit in the sun, out of the wind.

The last item in the box made me wonder how they knew I like a hot beverage when I go around the corner of the barn to sit in the sun, out of the wind. My new Sportsman Channel insulated mug will be with me and if I decide to take that beverage somewhere with me in the truck, I don’t know how they guessed the size, but my new mug fits perfectly into the holder I already have! Now I can just set my mug down instead of holding it in my lap or saying to my passenger, “Here, hold my drink and watch this!”

Many thanks to Michelle Scheuermann at Sportsman Channel for the chance to write for goodies and to Joe and Rebecca for everything they are doing with Outdoor Blogger Network.

And now, here is a fishing story you might enjoy: “The Buddy System”

Categories: +Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments

Hard Water

Waiting for ice to form on Fish in a Barrel Pond is not quite as dramatic as it was when I lived on Lake Champlain (see On Thin Ice) but it is significant.

The wind died down Saturday night and the cold settled in, along with the silence of winter. No more gentle ripples lapping at the shore, no whitecaps shredding their way across the surface and no more visible rises of feeding trout. Sure, I can hear a chainsaw in the distance now and then, and the sounds of air brakes as trucks hit the hill coming into the village but, without the constant background noise of water sloshing around, the dominant sound is no sound at all.

A dusting of snow makes visible the movements of animals as they go about their business. Coyotes cruise the roads and woods, looking for food and at least one otter has been on the move, following streams the way we follow streets.

Spray and splashing at the spillway creates a coating of ice on the rocks — lovely, cold and dangerous — building up layer after layer, catching the dim late-autumn light and holding it close.

There will be no more fishing until April. You might be able to use your new Green Mountain Thumper to thrash open a hole to cast to but there ain’t much point. The hole will seal over quickly, the ice thicker than before. Besides, ice fishing is not allowed on Fish in a Barrel Pond, for a lot of reasons, so that’s all she wrote for 2010.

Let the winter fun begin.

Categories: nature, Vermont, Winter | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Vermont Hand Crafted Tenkara Rods

Tenkara is an old Japanese method of fishing, conceived as a way to yank fish from small streams. Generating a lot of interest lately, its American adherents are practically swooning. It turns out that my friend Eugene has been using similar methods for years and his desire to simplify the gentle art of angling (see “… teach a man to fish …”) has naturally led him to Tenkara. Feeling uniquely qualified, he is anxious to share his expertise. He’s also fairly sure he can make a buck or two doing it.

Eugene has tried his hand at home decor (see “A Craft Project With My Friend, Eugene”) and he has dabbled in the culinary arts (see “Mouse Pie”). His qualifications are indeed unique but I sometimes wonder about him as an entrepreneur, especially when he involves his pal Purly (see “The Disappearance of Ethan Allen”). Still, I do what I can to help them out, usually against my better judgement.

With a reminder — nay, a plea — to obey all fish and game laws, I give you:

EUGENE & PURLY’S FREE RANGE, ORGANIC, RENEWABLE, HAND CRAFTED, VERMONT ARTISANAL TENKARA RODS  Continue reading

Categories: Fly Fishing, Humor, Stories About My Good Friend, Eugene, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

On Thin Ice

(This Blog entry was my submission to a Sportsman Channel and Outdoor Blogger Network writing contest.)

A major credit card company had a contest, a few years back, in which one could win one’s own private island. The television commercials showed groups of very young, very attractive people partying down on a tropical beach, dancing the night away, without a care in the world. The magazine ads featured a white sand beach, turquoise water and palm trees, and all of the ads included the tag-line “What would you do?” Continue reading

Categories: Humor, Vermont, Winter | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Fall Rituals

Certain events mark the passing of the seasons here at Fish in a Barrel Pond, taking place year after year, but they are not dependent on calendars and clocks. Sure, I can tell you with some certainty that my annual ritual of draining and blowing out water lines in the camps will be done shortly before dark, on the last Sunday of October but after that all bets are off. Continue reading

Categories: Fly Fishing, nature, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

It’s Not Over ‘Til It’s Over

The end of the season is nigh, here at Fish and a Barrel Pond, but it ain’t over yet and I should have known better than to write like it was as I did a couple of weeks ago when I got all sentimental and gooey in my post “Mostly Photos, from Somewhere in Vermont“. A string of sunny days full of blue skies and brook trout interspersed with starry nights scented of bourbon and wood smoke can do that to a guy.

It’s been almost six months since the 2010 fishing season began for the members of the Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society and it was nice to spend another Saturday night by the fire, sipping toddies and swapping stories with a swell bunch of fellows but on Sunday afternoon, as I stood in the road waving good-bye, a chill, northern breeze boxed my ears and tossed my hat in the ditch, reminding me it is the end of their season, not mine.

All week long that breeze blew. It took the sunshine away, replacing it with steady rain, and by Thursday afternoon the breeze was a flag-shredding gale and, after a brief lull, the rain became sleet.

You pay your money and you take your chances when you come to Fish in a Barrel Pond, especially in October. Some folks, with little apparent effort, have a fine time no matter the conditions, while others don’t try at all and are miserable, rain or shine. Continue reading

Categories: +The Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society, Fly Fishing, Humor, nature | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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