Rural Life

An Impressive Start to Mud Season

A stiff, warm breeze has kicked the process of melting into high gear and mud season is upon us. Driving on an unpaved road can be an adventure this time of year, even for those who have experienced mud season before. Four wheel drive certainly helps, but so do ground clearance and a certain amount of good judgement.

We wondered all morning, Mrs. Gordon and I, if anyone would get stuck today and if so, whom. It’s early yet, so there is still time for my choices (the weekend people from New Jersey) to hit the ditch but they catch a bit of a break today by not being the first to get stuck in the mud of our road.

That honor goes to a tiny little car from Massachusetts.

And it only gets worse from here!

I once came across a Hummer with Massachusetts plates, stuck in a ditch during mud season but did not have my camera along so I had to settle for laughing at the driver before shifting into low and leaving him behind, not even twenty yards up a hundred yard hill. It still bothers me to not have a photo of that Hummer in the ditch so when the driver of this car knocked sheepishly at the door, looking for help, I said, “Sure! Just let me grab my camera.”

Frankly, I’m surprised they made it this far up the side of Nonesuch Mountain and I’m not sure why they kept trying to go further, but they did, plowing with the skirting at the nose of the car until they were stopped dead in their tracks. I did give them credit, though, for staying out of the ditch.

Of course I’m going to take pictures.

 It doesn’t look like things will be drying out any time real soon — and I certainly don’t expect people will stay off our road — so maybe we can look forward to more entertainment like this in the next couple of weeks. And if, as I’m taking pictures before pulling you out, you ask how (other than a large 4×4 truck) I avoid becoming stuck in this springtime morrass, I will tell you I just don’t go out and about. That’s not dry Yankee humor; it’s good judgement.

Categories: Humor, nature, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Signs of Winter’s Demise

The calendar puts it only a few days away but, for me, it’s not really spring until someone spots a pair of turkey vultures sharing a dead skunk on the shoulder of Rte. 5. We have a ways to go yet, before the peepers are in the pussy willows and the anglers are on the pond, but things are looking up, knock on wood.

Rain and melt water are absorbing into the snow on top of the lake ice, creating a thick layer of slush so heavy the ice groans loudly under its weight.  Meanwhile, the snow piles out front are shrinking, the hay rake is once again exposed, and the driveway is a mess during the day but, man, you should hear the racket when it is driven on in the morning after freezing at night.


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Categories: Humor, nature, Rural Life, Vermont, Winter | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Winter’s Back is Broken (and Mine is a Mess)

Meteorological winter, the coldest (on average) 1/4 of the year, is over. Winter’s back is broken but, as I’ve written before, you can’t shoot winter in the head and put it out of its misery. We must wait as winter kicks and fights with everything it can muster at this late stage of the game, while spring slowly asserts itself, a little bit at a time. Unfortunately, on days like yesterday, when a warm(-ish) breeze from the south brings mild temperatures and rain against driving snow and the cold(-ish) air still hanging on, both seasons end up looking foolish and the dooryard fills with slush.

We’ve had enough snow this winter that we were saying, “yeah, yeah, we get it” about four feet ago and we are ready to move on to the next season, which around here is mud. A lot of barns and other buildings collapsed last month, crushed by the weight of snow. Crews dug and raked as best they could, trying to lighten the loads on other roofs, but poor timing, gravity and uneven weight distribution continued to wreak destruction. Even with the sounds of catastrophe ringing through the valley, it was tempting to look at the roofs under my care, scoff, and say, “Hah! They’ve held more snow than that!”

I admit here and now, that is exactly what I did. Continue reading

Categories: Humor, nature, Rural Life, Vermont, Winter | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Return of the Shack Nasties

Coming down with a case of the Shack Nasties is a gradual thing. Fortitude and stoicism delay the inevitable, slowing its progress for a time, but sooner or later the Shack Nasties set in. I’ve had them before, I have them now, and I will have them again but these, too, shall pass.

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Categories: nature, Rural Life, Vermont, Winter | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

In a Rut, But at Least I Have Crumpets

(If you stopped by hoping for a fishing story, perhaps you’ll enjoy this: “Fishing Hurts”)

It is easy to get stuck in a rut this time of year. The hours of daylight may be increasing but winter is just getting started and spring seems a long way off. Most years we get a bit of a break from the cold and snow when the “January Thaw” sets in and temperatures climb to above freezing for a few days but this brief warm spell is one gift horse I always look straight in the mouth.

Thawing means melting. Ice and snow change to water and dirt turns to mud. If that dirt happens to be a road, things can get interesting fast, especially with fuel trucks, UPS vans and people from other places driving back and forth. Most of the people from other places this year are from New Jersey, renting a house up the hill during ski season. I don’t know where they are headed four and five times a day — there just ain’t much to do in our little village — but up and down they go, making a real mess of things but mid-winter thaws are temporary. Cold weather returns and the road freezes again, leaving the rest of us to deal with the tracks those people made while we (wisely) stayed home.

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Categories: Humor, Rural Life | Tags: , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Cremation of MMX

Because the calendar — not our position in the cosmos, tilt of the Earth or phase of the moon — said so, a new year began on Saturday. I have often wondered if the Winter Solstice and the lengthening of days made more sense as the start of the year, but we humans are much too smart to fall for such a primitive, simple way to anticipate and mark the passage of time. With moon phases and other quaint folklore reduced to trivia in small print, our modern calendar has quite sensibly divided the year into months of un-equal, seemingly random length and managed to conjure an entire bonus day every four years which we, in our wisdom, tack on to the end of February, one of the worst months of all. Sensible or not, we use the same calendar as everyone else and Friday night was a night of revelry at Fish in a Barrel Pond. Continue reading

Categories: nature, Rural Life, Vermont, Winter | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

First Winter Photos (Before Winter Even Begins)

I raised an eyebrow at the temperature when I stepped outside yesterday and that eyebrow stayed up for most of the morning and I walked around, looking kind of surprised, like one of those Botox ladies. I’m not sure how surprised I actually was, knowing for a long time that this day was coming, the day I trade flannel-lined dungarees for long-johns and wool trousers and my footwear consists solely of Sorels for outdoors and house slippers for in.

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Categories: nature, Rural Life, Vermont, Winter | Tags: , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Dead Flies

With a fairly steady stream of anglers plying the waters of Fish in a Barrel Pond I find flies everywhere. I pick them up and if they are intact I add them to my boxes. If not, I keep them anyway. Mangled and broken, tattered and frayed, shredded and unwound, dropped, stepped on and left behind, it sometimes seems that I accumulate as many un-fishable flies as good ones. I find them in boats, on the ground in the parking lot and stuck in the nap of rugs at the doors of the camps. No fly lasts forever.

Most people wouldn’t give these worthless bits of feather, hair and thread a second look but I just can’t throw them away or leave them behind, rusting away to nothing.

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Categories: Fly Fishing, Humor, Rural Life | Tags: , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Slow Evening on the Pond

The air is warm, the water is warm, and the fishing is, well, slow. During the day the trout are hunkered down, hanging around spring holes and the feeder streams where the little dribbles of cool water still flow in (boy oh boy, do we need rain). In the evening a few small pods of fish move around, sipping mayflies and other insects blown in by the warm breeze, but a summer’s worth of fishing pressure has made sneaking up on individual fish and groups of cruisers difficult. They’ve been educated and shy away from the boat. Long, accurate, delicate casts are the only way to hook up. 

I can do long, I can do accurate, and I can do delicate but all three at once is asking a bit much so I spend a fair amount of time just sitting, watching and waiting. Here’s some of what I saw on the pond two nights ago:

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Categories: Fly Fishing, Loons, nature, Rural Life | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mouse Pie

 

The leaves are turning, early it seems, and around here that means more people from other places will be showing up to see them.  Every small town and village tries to get those people to stop, linger and spend money by hosting craft fairs, food fests, art shows, etc. and ours is no exception. My friend Eugene and his pal Purly are looking to get in on the action with a booth on the green where they can offer up real, honest to goodness Vermont food, educate folks about a different way of life and maybe make a few bucks along the way, even though their first experience with food and outsiders didn’t go very well (see “Eugene, Purly and Chef Gordon Ramsay“).

When Eugene stopped by this week, searching for ingredients, I was happy to help. Unfortunately, he and Purly originally wanted to serve up Teriyaki Beaver on a Stick but beaver season doesn’t start until November and all I had to offer was a couple of frozen hind quarters (freshness is of utmost importance). They were, however, able to come up with an authentic recipe they could use and for which I can provide ingredients in abundance. It’s a win-win, as they say. Continue reading

Categories: Humor, Rural Life, Stories About My Good Friend, Eugene, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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