Flashback Friday: Tannenbaum Edition

According to the National Christmas Tree Association, 13.9 million artificial Christmas trees were purchased in the United States last year. Of course, on their Statistics page, the NCTA is very diplomatic, tactfully referring to those trees as “fake.”

More than 26 million “real” trees were harvested for festive purposes in 2014, with 15% of consumers surveyed opting to cut their own. Choosing and cutting a tree is a tradition the whole family can enjoy, as shown in this ad for rifle scopes from the December, 1962, issue of Field & Stream.

So close!

Those two know the only thing worse than having the wrong scope when a buck like that appears is having no gun at all. We’ll hope they also know how hard it is to chase a deer through deep snow, trying to get close enough to whack it with your hatchet.

At least they appear to be properly dressed.

Dressed for Success

Dressed for Success

In the same issue, Pops and Skippy have better odds of bagging a deer but that double bit throwing axe seems a bit much for the puny tree Pops has selected. Can you blame him, though? A taller tree would be much more likely to drop snow and ice down his neck and that ascot won’t provide much protection.

Nice Tie

Nice Tie

Then there is this fortunate fellow from December, 1963, having himself a celebratory smoke and enjoying plenty of neck protection as he lugs his quarry home. The tree looks lovely and, as if a nice paisley tie wasn’t enough, he also got a handsome holiday carton of Luckies!

Chopping down a tree may be fine for some but, as 85% percent of those who display a Christmas tree know, a trip to the tree lot offers the same opportunity to don natty attire, without the specter of gruesome shin injuries, but with the convenience of close proximity to other holiday essentials.

Holiday Spirit

Holiday Spirit

We won’t speculate as to the relationship of this threesome but their village is the epitome of One Stop Shopping. A big ol’ turkey in a box, a couple of lovely presents, and the tree will fit in their station wagon with plenty of room left over for the bag of last-minute gifts their friend picked up at the drug store.

He may or may not be wearing galoshes, but it’s slippery out there and he’d better not get cocky or there will be a lot more than “bourbon dew on the ice.” Something about that red Chevy suggests there may have just been a close call.

And so, dear readers, as you go about your preparations for this Christmas season, always remember that whether we cut our own trees or buy trees that have already been cut, there will always be those among us for whom nothing says “the holidays” like a bottle of bourbon and a carton of smokes!

 

 

 

 

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Categories: Flashback Fridays, Humor | Tags: , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “Flashback Friday: Tannenbaum Edition

  1. PWeston

    I’ll drink to that!

  2. Bob Stanton

    There’s nothin’ like the possibility of a yuletide axe mishap to make me chuckle!

  3. Tobin

    Chainsaws. Who needs chaps?

    • I’m always impressed with how much Kevlar can come out of a slice! Always is not the right word, perhaps. I mean that one time. Yeah, one time…

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