Sadly Mistaken

If I were to describe to you the absolute saddest thing I have ever heard it would break your heart and ruin your week. You’d mope around the house in your slippers and robe, the furnace and your pathetic sighs the only sounds in the house other than silence. Not even I know what describing it would do to me, especially at this point in winter with February still to go, but I can imagine and no one needs to see that. Continue reading

Categories: +The Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society, Loons, nature, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment

“You Can’t Get Here From There” or, “Of Ducks and Men”

A friend recently began using one of those fancy GPS units in his car. A marvel of modern technology and engineering, this thing has a sultry female voice that recites the directions to any place he tells it he wants to go. It also has all kinds of nifty features to distract from the task at hand (driving in a safe, responsible manner) as he pushes its little buttons and squints at its tiny screen. It even has a suction cup that allows him to stick it to the inside of his windshield, leaving his hands free for eating, drinking and other important tasks like typing messages with his thumbs. Or finding a place with cell phone coverage so he can call me to help figure out where the heck he is.

Close-up of an actual Vermont map

I’ve heard it is possible now to get one of these GPS things with the voice of a celebrity to tell you when and where to turn. If I were to get one I would want Sean Connery’s voice, just to hear him say “Podunk, Vermont”. Continue reading

Categories: nature, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Disappearance of Ethan Allen

My good friend Eugene is shacking up this winter with his pal Purly, at Purly’s place, above the swamp on the far side of Peavey’s Flat. It’s a good arrangement now that they’ve worked out some of the logistics and division of duties. For example, Purly does the cooking now which has significantly reduced the number of grease fires. Eugene does the washing and ironing has done well so far, although he has to mop a lot.

They are trapping beaver, mink and muskrat together again this season, encouraged by the great success last year of their line of Local Organic Hand-Crafted Artisanal ladies’ undergarments that they called “Beaver Fur”. Continue reading

Categories: Humor, Rural Life, Stories About My Good Friend, Eugene, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Eskimo Blue Day

Sometimes when the cold winter wind screams, seeming to carry nothing but cruelty and pain, it can seem like the best thing to do is scream back. Feet planted and shoulders squared, lean in and let loose with a howl, a yowl or a yelp. Play with the tone and vary the pitch, high, low or otherwise, but always, always keep the volume right where it should be, turned up all the way to 11. Continue reading

Categories: nature, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

This Ain’t Walden

thoreau

“Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste to the sky as well as the earth!”

-Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

Categories: nature, Rural Life | Tags: , | 3 Comments

Halcyon, Revisited

hillside afire

It wasn’t long ago that the hillsides seemed afire and I missed fish after fish, standing slack-jawed in awe, bathed in radiant light. Continue reading

Categories: Fly Fishing, nature, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Teach a Man to Fish …

This story no longer lives here but there are just too many links to it for one man to strip out and those Error 404 Not Found notices aren’t very polite, so you are seeing this instead.

The short story “Teach a Man to Fish … ” has been converted to e-reader format and is now available for both Kindle and Nook as part of Quill Gordon’s Story Time, Tales of the Outdoors for Anglers and Others!

The Blurb:

“Invited to fish a secret, forbidden honey hole, Quill Gordon can’t resist. Rigging up his favorite antique rod, he envisions delicate casts to difficult fish, but when he arrives he finds that not everyone shares his definition of ‘sport’. Featuring Quill’s unusual friend, Eugene, and Eugene’s unusual fishing methods, an early version of this humorous short story first appeared on the blog The View from Fish in a Barrel Pond in September of 2009.”

The Links:

“Teach a Man to Fish … ” for Kindle (Amazon)

“Teach a Man to Fish … ” for Nook (Barnes & Noble)

The Cover

teach a man cover2compressed

Categories: Fly Fishing, Humor, Stories About My Good Friend, Eugene | Tags: , , , , , | 9 Comments

Baffling Beavers

Once in great demand for their fur, beavers were close to extinction not so long ago but, thanks to a decline in their value, fewer trappers and more conscientious recovery efforts, they are now numerous in many places, even to the point of becoming pests. Unable to tolerate the sound of running water, they dam streams and plug culverts, flooding roads and valuable stands of timber. Their activities can threaten property and even lives when their numbers become too great.

Changing the landscape and altering the environment to suit their needs, the wetlands they create provide food and shelter for a wide variety of wildlife. Turtles, frogs, ducks and other animals take advantage of beaver ponds. Dragonflies and damselflies dart over the water, resting on cattails and reeds while native brook trout rise to take mayflies, mosquitoes and midges. Muskrats take up residence in beaver ponds, eating plants that thrive in the warm, slow water and digging tunnels into the soft banks, expanding the wet edges and increasing the potential for property damage.

There are several robust populations of beavers on the property of the Neverwas Nonesuch Angling Society and when the road to one of the camps along the shore of Fish in a Barrel Pond was threatened by rising water and muskrat tunnels, the search for a solution fell to me. Continue reading

Categories: nature, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

The Crunchy Time of Year

Daylight lengthens but the cold deepens, even as Earth’s northern hemisphere begins tilting again toward the sun. Shadows retreat southward, slowly, day by day, and the sun peers over the ridge of the barn roof but, due to a seasonal lag, it will be some time yet before more sun means more warmth. This is the cold time.

Just how deep and vicious the cold will be remains to be seen. Whether it will be a long, protracted spell or wave after bitter wave of chill air is still a matter of conjecture but one thing is for sure: the cold is coming and it is time to get ready or go away.

windowfrost2

Continue reading

Categories: nature, Rural Life, Vermont | Tags: , , , , , | 7 Comments

My Friend, Eugene, and the Medicinal Bear Parts

Word spread a few years ago that the price for bear spleens and gall bladders was way up, due to a renewed interest in Eastern medicine. My friend, Eugene, and his buddy Purly Coutermarche joined forces, determined to cash in on some of that action.

Their first foray into the medicinal quality animal parts market was a complicated affair and involved hiring a pack of hounds as well as crossing state lines. It began with Eugene and Purly following five dogs, at a full run, across two streams, over a hill and through a half mile long bramble patch and that is where it ended, with Eugene catching his breath and having a smoke while he waited for Purly to catch up. Together they sat and listened to another man’s dogs fade into the distance somewhere in the next county and together they sneaked away before that man could find out what had happened. Continue reading

Categories: Humor, Stories About My Good Friend, Eugene | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

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